Experiencing the Trials and Tribulations of being a Single Father One Day at a Time
I think it is pretty safe to say that the last month has been a little rough for all of us. I am certainly no different. With a new job, the girls being gone for Spring Break, and the military preparation for COVID-19, the last two weeks in particular have been extremely difficult. I just wanted to give a quick update to let everyone know that we are doing okay. If there is anything that the Calkins Family does well, we endure, and tend to make the best of any situation.
Any single parent is bound to tell you that it is difficult to fit in time for yourself or something other than child-related activities. I assure you that I am no different. When you get the chance though, I highly recommend taking it, as you do not know when you are going to get an opportunity again. With my parents in town for the holidays, I definitely made good use of a few hours away from cleaning and making meals that will only be half eaten.
There comes a time that when your little one grows up and finally leaves the nest. But that will not be for another 13 years. Elaina completed her Pre-Kindergarten class and had her graduation ceremony before she headed out to San Antonio, TX for the summer. While it was just one of the many graduation or promotion ceremonies that she is likely that have over the next two decades, it still meant a lot to both of us.
I have always been an active parent in my girls’ lives, and over the years through experience, I have acquired the skills needed to be an even better father. Changing diapers and potty-training were easy (but thank God those stages are over). Learning what colors and patterns match was a chore, but I eventually mastered it, with one of Gabriella’s teachers telling me last week that she never looks like “Dad dressed her.” And cooking quality meals… I have been able to do that since I was ten, so no trouble there (Note: Getting my youngest to eat them is a completely different story though). But once it was just me and them, there were only two things that I was seriously concerned about. One of them I will have to deal with in about seven years… and the other is doing their hair.
Greetings! As you may have noticed, I have not written anything in almost a month. While the reports of my writer’s block have been greatly exaggerated, this has just been a very (unexpectedly) busy month for my family. It all started a few months ago when I got selected for promotion, but did not really kick in until last month when I got accepted into the next level of the military’s education system. The program, named Intermediate Level Education (Distance Learning, for me), is 18 months of classes, including numerous tests and papers. As if that was not taking up enough of my time, I got selected to move to a new position, one that will set me up for greater success and mobility within the Army. This is all great, do not get me wrong, but it also means that I have to study up on all the requirements and responsibilities of this new job, on top of the graduate-level classes I am already taking. The last bit that was thrown onto my plate was that I have to support a training exercise… in Washington state. Which means that, according to our parenting plan, the girls have to go back to Texas with their mother for a few weeks… ending only two weeks before they go back there for over two months. Needless to say, I have been extremely busy and am about to really miss my girls for almost three months. While I am certainly going to get back to writing, I just wanted to give a brief update that even though we have still been going on our adventures, writing about them has unfortunately taken a back seat to increase in workload. In essence, I have only had to sacrifice my personal time to ensure than my family is taken care of, which I think is the right answer. I will try to get a real post out as soon as I get some free time, but at least wanted to give everyone an update on why all the articles that I have been planning have not been forthcoming. Thanks for understanding.
Thanks for checking in on us.
Cheers!
Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad. — Jack Baker
Greetings.
I am a single father to two daughters, Elaina (5) and Gabriella (3), who are more important than anything else in my life, as they very well should be. Unfortunately, the marriage between their mother and I did not work out and I was appointed the primary custodian of our children. While already trying to be the best father I possibly could, this meant that I had to step up my game even more. Single fatherhood is always going to be a work in progress, but every day gets a little bit better as I gain more experience and the girls become a little more understanding. Through school, meals, discipline, and our weekend activities, we are making it work and having a blast doing it.
I started this blog for two reasons. The first is to be a productive outlet for my family and myself by highlighting how much fun you can have when you put family first, regardless of your family structure. The second is to inspire and give hope to other single fathers out there, especially those that are the primary custodians of their children. Getting through a divorce is extremely difficult and it is a full-time job being a single father, but hopefully this blog demonstrates that it not only gets better with time and experience, but can be truly rewarding.
Thank you for being a part of our adventure.
Cheers!
Robert
Adventures in Single Dadding 