Experiencing the Trials and Tribulations of being a Single Father One Day at a Time
My Mom only wanted one thing for Christmas, and that was for it to snow in Southern Arizona. It happened for a few days last year, but it did not seem like it was going to happen over the holidays this time. She must have been on the “Nice” list this year, as she got her wish right before they headed back home.
There is no shortage of things to do around the holidays. Unfortunately for us, any activity, especially one in Tucson, takes away from preparing for the girls’ grandparents to arrive on Christmas week. Thankfully, Fort Huachuca has plenty of holiday events. And when one of the biggest of the season is literally a block from our house, there is really no excuse not to grab the girls and join in on the fun.
I put in a lot of hours at work. I am pretty good at time management (and work through lunch on most days), so I still get off by 5:15pm every day, but the time spent at the office definitely adds up. While anyone can tell you that breaks need to be taken, it is important to ensure that those breaks are effective, meaning that they replenish you and allow you to refocus once you return to work. I do not take as many breaks as I should, but they are almost always effective. The best break? Going to one of my daughters’ schools and surprising them for lunch.
It is time for the annual Trunk or Treat at Fort Huachuca. Given how much candy they got last year from the event, you just knew the girls would want to participate. Time to suit up in your costume of choice, grab your candy bag, and get ready to wait in line for an hour in almost freezing temperatures!
As a single parent, sometimes you just want to talk to other adults outside of work. I mean, I absolutely adore my kids, but the conversations with a six- and four-year old can be somewhat limited. So when we were given the chance to attend my unit’s bowling night, I was more than happy to show up and support the event.
So everyone knows by now that my daughters and I do everything together. Baking involves having my trusty frosting testers available. Hiking means more than just walking in the wilderness, in that one girl is usually on my shoulders and the other is in a carrier backpack. And a nice, quiet trip to the zoo involves me answering endless questions on why animals look and act the way they do. It is the way our family works and I love it. So why would my big promotion be any different?
So I picked up the girls from Texas almost a month ago and I am just now getting some time to write. And a lot has happened in that month. Elaina started Kindergarten and Gabriella started Pre-K. The girls are signed up for soccer. And I am crushing my new job and about to be promoted. Things are going well in the Calkins household. But as far as getting back into the routine of writing, I figured we should start with something small, like going to the movies. Good thing that The Lion King (live-action) was playing at the on-post theater… and that it was Pajama Night.
There comes a time that when your little one grows up and finally leaves the nest. But that will not be for another 13 years. Elaina completed her Pre-Kindergarten class and had her graduation ceremony before she headed out to San Antonio, TX for the summer. While it was just one of the many graduation or promotion ceremonies that she is likely that have over the next two decades, it still meant a lot to both of us.
So if you have not figured this out by now, my girls love to dress up. And not just like princesses. They like to come prepared for every possible situation. Given that April is Month of the Military Child on post and that every day promoted different activities, this was the perfect opportunity for them to dress up (“fabulously,” as Elaina puts it) for every day that offered a unique outfit. This became a great family activity every morning by looking at the calendar then going through their closets (and sometimes their playroom) to properly dress for the occasion.
So another one of our rules is that we have to “do something out of the house as a family” at least one day out of every weekend, which usually happens on Saturday (no completely lazy weekends for this family). Like every other weekend, I gave the girls some options to start. The Children’s Museum of Tucson? No. Patagonia Lake? No. Because Grandma and Papa had such a good time there this week, the girls decided they wanted to go to Tombstone, AZ, or as they call it, “The Cowboy Town.” They told me that one of the reasons that they wanted to go was so they could ride horses, so I added that we could go to the Buffalo Corral Riding Stables after we got back to post. After Elaina was famously quoted as telling me that “Dad, kids like to do things, not look at things!” during the tram tour at the Pima Air & Space Museum, I figured that they would be bored in Tombstone; as always, these girls keep surprising me.
Adventures in Single Dadding 